My World

And I wonder,
Why is the person who works the less, usually criticized the most?

I'm feeling bad.
And also a bit angry for myself for feeling offended.
But I do........

She didn't even had to think of anything. Only doing my simplest order. She also didn't do anything to makes things better (not that it was bad). While I think of this competition and do lots of things to make it go well. But I didn't protest......

So the world mourns the death of Michael Jackson.

While his fans critiqued the world as hypocritical. To discriminate him and mourn him when he is dead.

He was accused of molesting children.

The suspected plastic surgery to look caucasian.

His eccentric, weird behaviour.

Well.

I will not lie today and say that  "I've always been his fan"

But I think it doesn't makes sense. For someone like Michael Jackson who had a tragic childhood. Who donated millions for children all over the world, it's impossible to molest a child. It just doesn't make sense!

It was said today that he was having a rare skin disease of losing pigment, that's why he was that white. Hmm. But this time I believe he had plastic surgery. People speculates that he did it because he hated his father for abusing him as a child, that's why Michael Jackson tried his best to look not like his father.

His eccentricities, I think, might be a cause of loneliness and the lack of proper fun childhood.

In the end, people always choose what they want to believe.

I chose to believe that Michael Jackson was a good person.

For the last 15 years of bad publicity, people forget how great a singer and performer he was. He was there before the boybands. And we grow up liking at least 3 of his songs. For me it was "Heal the World", "Black or White", "You are not alone", and "In The Closet". And also he needs to be admired for all of his charity to the world, especially children.

Well, Michael Jackson got his fame back. The whole world is responding to his death. I really think his death is a big loss for the music world.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

A Mother's Love

A Mother's Love to me
Is infinite for all eternity
Only giving with no hope of return
Like the sun shining this world......


PS : No reason. Just in the mood to translate an old Indonesian children song. That goes like this....

Kasih ibu kepada beta
Tak terhingga sepanjang masa
Hanya memberi tak harap kembali
Bagain sang surya menyinari dunia

Because I love Jin so much :



He looks cool with that hair in DUES.

( More Jin Loving )
PS : Got an asthma attack today because of flu. Drank pills. I hope I will be okay tomorrow. It's long teaching day again.
PPS : Anybody in my F-list use Twitter. Mine is on http://twitter.com/Inazyelia
          I like twitter because it's very simple. Good for me who is too lazy but need an update on my friends. So, add me?

Because it began and will never end with Kame.........




Don't know why. I found this pic of Kame looking down is very endearing. And the next one! Gorgeous!
( More Kame Loving )

I'm mourning over the fact that Adam Lambert DID NOT win American Idol. He should win!

Kris is cool, very commercial pop soundish, and his voice is nice, and could play guitar and piano, but really. Adam's voice is better. He could reach unbelievably high notes. He is more talented in singing. And he has amazed me with his performances every week.

So America still chose Kris. It means people like nice voice better than amazing voice. It's....disappointing!

Well. I don't hate Kris. I like him since he sang "Heartless" with accoustic guitar. And I agree that it's nice to hear him sing. But Adam's voice is much much better. I often got bored listening to Kris. But I never got bored listening to Adam.

Is it because the rumour that Adam is gay? So what if he's gay? Sadly, maybe he loss some votes because of that.

Oh well. This year's Idol is very good. All of the finalists are talented. Especially the top 5. I like Anoop and Alison too. I think Alison and Adam should sing a rock duet in their album.

I like Alison singing with Cindy Lauper.

I super like Kara knocking Bikini Girl out. I hate the Bikini Girl. She made girls look stupid. Flaunt your body somewhere please. It's a singing competition, not a Playboy's model audition. She said at her audition, that Kara doesn's sing better than her. Well, tonight Kara prooved that she has way better voice. I was shocked that Kara opened her dress and shows off her underwear too. But then tried to covered herself after 3 seconds and said "It's for charity". Well now Kara prooved that she has better voice and better body than Bikini Girl. Bikini Girl prooved she got nothing except body. Not even shame or pride.

Do I sound a bit angry? Yeah. Maybe I am. It'll pass. I'll get over this "Adam Lambert Should Win" feeling tomorrow. I promise I will buy his original CV whenever it came out. I believe he will have a great singing career ahead of him. And I'll support him.

Finished watching Boys Over  Flowers a week ago. I really like this series. It's more endearing than Meteor Garden or Hana Yori Dango. I like that Geum Jan Di has life rather than with Jun Pyo. And that she decided to became a doctor. I like the flow of this one too. It's never boring. And unlike Meteor Garden where Lei stop appearing in the last 2 episodes. I like the ending. It's more clear than the others. I also like the relationship between Ji Hoo and Jan Di. They are soulmates. But not meant to be lovers. And Ji Hoo's love for Jan Di that will never ceased ( I think). And Jun Pyo is really super amazingly gorgeous. He's adorable! I fell in love with Lee Min Ho.

I started reading Vampire Knight. Now I understand what those people have been talking about. It is good. And I like Kaname better than Zero. But I haven't read all. 4 mangas. Will read more when I get the chance.

I started reading Ouran High School Host Club too. LOL. A very funny one. I need a laugh after a tiring day. I think all of those people are crazy. And I never thought at the beginning that Haruhi is a girl! I love how they all worshipped her, Haha! The narcissistic Tamaki, the coldblooded Kyoya, the mischievous Hitachi'in twins, the super cute Honey-senpai, and the almost-always-silent Mori. I love them all.

I got busier in Kumon. We plan to held a competition next month and I'm the head of committee.

I grew a new ability. Reading in moving cars. Usually I get nauseaus, but now I can read well in car. So I read the paper in class when there's a test (oh yes there's a test these days. Like trainings). And now I read mangas and novels too on my way to work.

To all of my friends, ganbatte everyday ne!

PS : regarding American Idol, I hope Adam wins!
PPS : No time to write (cried). Gomen. Will still try to finish a chapter.
PPPS : Don't you realize I start to write like a telegram? Haha.

I met an old man today.

I was reading a grammar book on the minibus to work. He asked me where did I buy it. He just bought a dictionary for his grandchild. We chat briefly about books and learning English. That was when I suddenly remember my late grandfather.

You know those times when we thought the memories are safely sleeping and something happened and it all came rushing back to you? Those times when you remember the people you love who left you forever? It might only be for several seconds, but the sadness, the longing, the sweet memories, the same old "I wish you were here" that hit you so bad you had to fight back tears and gulped it down?

That's what happened to me today, as I talked to that old man. I often sit with my grandfather and talk about books. For ten seconds I wished so hard that he is still here. I wish he knew that I'm teaching kids now. I think he will be happy. I wish he could be with me. I wish he knew he is remembered. I wish he knew I look up to him. I wish he knew I will give all the money I have just for an hour to talk to him. God, I just miss him so bad now.

So I was sitting there between a dozen of people, turning my head to the window and fighting back tears. And then I had to leave at my stop and continue with my life.

If those who died could see us, I wish he knew I will always, always love him.

What a very shocking news.  And a heartbreaking one too.

Joo Ji Hoon, the actor who played Lee Shin in Princess Hours, was arrested in Korea for drug using. He was also suspected for selling it, but it's not proven yet.

What a very stupid, stupid thing to do, Joo Ji Hoon.

It's not an excuse to be a celebrity and being offered by anyone. It's even worse if he sells it too. Drug sellers destroys people's lives.

Why, Ji Hoon, why?

You're famous and rich. Why can't you feel grateful for it and do something good, instead of ruining your life and others?

I'm very dissappointed.

I really like him since Goong. I was even really devoted for a time. I guess this is as bad as being a fan could get. When your idol who you looked up too do something as bad as this.

I'm just. So sad. And angry. This is like a nightmare. Only I damn well this is not.

Stupid Ji Hoon.

asianfanatics.net/forum/Joo-Ji-Hoon-Admits-to-Drug-Use-talk648151.html

www.dramabeans.com/2009/04/joo-ji-hoon-busted-for-drug-use/

I'm not sure anybody remembers! But I do~and I'm reminding you!

Today, April 26, 2009, is Ueda Tatsuya and Marie-Therese's wedding day in my fanfic "Ueda's Tale". Hava a happy life together! ***throws confetti***

And give me Shinji soon.

PS : I know you do have a happy life.

PPS : This is Kinta's 22nd birthday. Which is why I put on this day for the couple's day.

I was watching my favorite parts of Tatta Hitotsu no Koi then decided to write this. Set a year after the dorama ended. It’s short. But I do have a point here. The point is to make myself happy, hahaha! Ah I really love this dorama. So that’s why I write this. Can’t believe it’s more than 2 years since I first watch it. I hope you like this. Warning : it’s very short!

Title : A Morning Like No Other

Pairing : Hiroto/Nao (from Tatta Hitotsu no Koi)

Dislaimer : I have dinner with them every weekend. What? Of course I’m telling the truth!

Summary : Set one year after the ending of the dorama. Basically it’s a morning to remember between them. It’s too short to be summarized. Just read please.

( A Morning To Remember )

My student Revita gave me a bracelet from Yogya. She visited there for vacation. I was shocked. My student sincerely gave me something! That was like......I kind of melted looking at her smiling face. I felt like scooping to hug her. But I didn't. The others will be questioning why I hug her. But really. Wouldn't you melt if you were me? She is not my favorite or something. I treat her like I treat all of them. But it was just.....***coherency failing*** It was at the end of the class, I gave her a pile of wrong exercises for her to correct. I expect her to sulk, but she was grinning and was saying, "Miss this is for you....I bought it at Yogya!". I think I was seriously gaping for some seconds before I said "Oh wow. Really? Thank you so much! But I don't have anything for you!". She said it was okay. And was smiling and that was when I want to jump and hugged her. Yeah.

It's not an expensive bracelet at all. But I was so happy when I wear it today.

Oh and bad news. Areta, another student, is taking a month, maybe more, time off from Kumon. She has liver enlargement. I hope it's the right term. I only knew she had ulcer. But it suddenly became something severe. I hope she will recover soon.

This is a meme originally from angel_9_lives and I read it in chloe17  LJ

A good way of knowing you, all of my friends. Please fill this, it will be a treat to know more about you.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Edited :
I know this is cheating from what I said in number 35. But if you want to know my answer to this meme, I filled this at chloe17 's LJ. Baka me, I filled it without signing in. It's here :
chloe17.livejournal.com/18148.html

I'm doing okay at work, as I like what I do.

But here's something worth mentioning.

I almost got robbed several days ago, when I was on my way home at night.

I was on the minibus, and was opening my bag to get some money to pay the fare when the guy on my right was making vomiting sounds. I heard once that if you meet a person who pretend to vomit in bus or any other public transport, it is possible that they are making a plan to rob you and do that to turn your attention. And the man on my left covered his hands with jacket and his hand already entered my bag. I shoved his hand out of my bag. He and the vomiting guy hurriedly got off the minibus.

Luckily nothing was stolen out of me, and I was safe. The driver said that the three guys (for there were 3 of them who hurriedly got off together) are famous for thieving. But the driver got nothing to do with it and apologized profusely to me.

Well, it was a scary night. Thank God they didn't bring a knife. Without knowing, I was sitting between two thieves that night. 

That's my news. Will drop by again when I get time.

I want to be someone worth of you,
Be the best I can be, so you can mention my name proudly

But I also want to confess all of my sin
I want you to stop all of my dark thoughts
Be there beside me when the sky fell down and I have nothing to hold on to

Accept me.....
Let me stay in your life
There's no one else
Who I will ever be

I feel complete when I stand in front of you
So please believe me when I say my definition of future is with you
Don't think everything will crash
Everything will be heaven

And it will begin, the moment you touch my hand.
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So I was writing one of my fic and suddenly I want to write this. I won't tell which one, but maybe you can guess.

I'm okay, by the way. I really enjoy my job and I'm starting to know the kids better. Teachers have lots of things to do other than teaching, and time started to be lacking. But I still can do it, though very near the deadlines.

Katsumi, sorry again for another depressing e-mail. I'm better now.

I just heard a dreadful revelation of my former colleague. She slept with a man who stole the company's money and was caught in the act messing around the secretary's PC to get documents for him. And there's also another one who also slept with former employee who did fraud and now starting a new business.

This is true, not some kind of baseless rumours. It's scary how we can't trust a lot of people these days. God.

Maybe that's why I feel better working with kids. They are honest. And they also trust the world. They believe everything told to them.

I often wished I'm back to that state of mind.

Anyway, a few things to say :

Happy 3 years, KAT-TUN. Keep on rocking our world with your music, talent, and souls. Thank you for existing. You don't know how much you all became the one of the best part of my life.

Anna, and Katsumi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss talking to you! Will strive to keep contact.

I love this year's Academy Award.

I bought a new bag! It's red and pretty.

Reza turned 17 last March 29. He is getting better and going to school again. Pray that he will be walking properly soon and will be able to pass his class.

My cat ate something rotten on the streets. Though we have healthy Whiskas for him. Akito was home with his body convulsing and mouth foaming and Kinta was hysterical. Crying and suffocating. She was blaming me because I have to stood outside with Akito until he came back. Akito was out at freaking 4 am and I was tired so I slept again. But that was no reason to stop me from blaming myself and dreading all of those sadness after Brother died come back. I've had enough of crying over a dead cat and got broken by it. So I covered Akito with blankets, called taxi, and went to a vet hospital with Kinta.

Akito was given antitoxin and IV shots, and was saved, thank God. After 6 hours, he ate Whiskas again. I feel my legs turned into jelly in relief.
I love my cat Akito so much! Stay healthy baby!

Chris in American Idol is cute!

Christine, my student who once have a crying fit because I was being stern and insist for her to learn and do her classwork, gave me her Winnie the Pooh sticker. I take it we are in good terms now.

Chandra, my other student, sat on my lap and I hugged him.

Yup, that's the hightlight of my life lately.

I was in need of some Akame and searched Youtube. And found these videos. They were promoting Gokusen II and Gokusen Reunion.

What I'm confused about is the second one. It was around the October 2005. I thought they were supposed to be not talking with each other and being distant, since it was around Nobuta too. But they look close to me.

Anyway they were funny and baka and they made me smile.

Enjoy, girls.

I'm happy to announce that I have a new job now. I'm teaching English in Kumon.

Teaching is something I never think of. I even have this by accident. I applied for an administration job in a small add that betrayed no company name. I came on the interview and it happened to be a Kumon branch in my city. Though I apply for an admin job, they saw my TOEFL certificate and asked me, "Would you like to take a test to teach English here". In the briefest seconds before I answer, I only think about how I love English since I was a child and working in that field would be a happy thing. So I said yes.

And I passed and was accepted as a full time teacher there. I started working since March 3.

I enjoy it so much. I think this is the first time I work with my heart too instead just with my brain. I'm really happy I listened to my heart when I accepted this, instead of continuing all those interviews about Finance or Admin jobs. And I'm glad glad glad that I have Katsumi and Anna, who immediately support me and said that it is a job that will make me happy. And they are right!

Rescue PV is KAT-TUN wearing black in a gloomy place that looks like some part of Gotham City. Because it was all very dark and gothic-ish. And those girls with that sexy moves. And Maru--was too erotic that he used to be. Not that I'm protesting LOL. Ueda looks tired so he didn't look cool. Though I'm shock with that seducing dance. Koki was very matching in this dark PV. I like his rap part. Well I like him in general (nothing new). Junno! I like his dance. And Jin. And that Jin siluet is WOW. Wearing sunglasses. Kills meeeee! Jin is seriously cool here. Though he could use a hair cut. It is too long and untidy. Is it for Bandage? Kame? Kame is super super delicious!

Rescue.....I don't really like the song. I think the chorus and the parts before that are not harmonized. I feel it's not matching. But gradually the song got in to me.

Praying for a good sales.

I'm very shock to hear that Jang Ja Yeon, the girl who played Sunny, one of the trio girls who bullied Jan Di in Boys Before Flowers committed suicide. It was by hanging herself. I read that she was usually a cheerful girl. But she had a contract problem with her management. Maybe that's the reason.  She had plans to play 2 movies. Her career is rising, why did she had to do that? It's so sad.

Korean actors and actress committed suicide a lot in these last years. Boys Before Flowers seems like cursed. Accidents, hospitalized, now death. The cast is exhausted. I think they need a couple of weeks rest.

Suicide is not a solution of whatever problem you are facing, however hard it is. Your life is precious. Don't throw it away whatever happens. As long as you live, there will be hope. When you feel you want to die, seek for help. Say what you are going through to anyone. Just whatever you do, don't throw your life away. Please.
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I watched Fated to Love You. It's really good!

The story is about Ji Cun Xi, a rich owner of a big cleaners (soap) company, and Chen Xin Yi, the innocent, ordinary, boring looking girl. They accidentally slept together on a cruise (you have to watch it rather than screaming "How did that happen?"). They got together well on the ship, but thought they will never met each other again. But Xin Yi got pregnant and the Ji family needs a heir. It got a lot more difficult too, when Anna, Cun Xi's fiance came back and found out the truth.

The storyline is simple, but I got addicted to the very end. This is the first time I want to cry watching a Taiwanese drama.